


Texture Test

by zanthe



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles
Genre: M/M, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25459426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanthe/pseuds/zanthe
Summary: Machina don't have a sense of taste, but that didn't mean texture was out of the question.
Relationships: Egil/Shulk (Xenoblade Chronicles)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Texture Test

**Author's Note:**

> I made so many jokes about Egil being that cat eating corn and yet. I didn't even remember corn until just now, oh well, he'd hate it it'd get stuck in his teeth.

Egil blinked down curiously at the array of tiny snacks Shulk had gathered previously, unsure of what to even start with. "You know I don't like food..." He muttered, and Shulk puffed in amusement.

"I know, but we might as well figure out what your texture preference is, in case you ever want to join in." The Homs smiled at him, prompting an exasperated sigh.

"Can I not simply take a bite out of a head of lettuce?" Egil grumbled, cautiously plucking an orange slice from the table and giving it a curious sniff, "I like lettuce. Celery, too." Oranges didn't smell too bad, though he remembered hating the time Shulk had asked him to peel one for him while he was busy with something else, it had left his hands feeling like they had drying glue on them. Tentatively, he took a bite, processed the fact it was, in fact, juicy, and immediately removed it from the vicinity of his lips. "I have decided I despise oranges."

Shulk snorted at that, passing him a napkin, "You can't  _ only _ chew on lettuce, although if you end up not liking any of these snacks I guess it'd mean I could keep calling you 'turtle.'" He laughed when Egil shot him a glare, "What? You eat like one." 

"'Eat' is a generous word," The Machina sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "considering I barely do more than chew on a leaf for a few minutes. Such a waste, really, I don't understand why you insist." 

"It's not a waste! You take half a leaf of lettuce and you can't pretend you don't love the crunch." Shulk jabbed at his side, sticking his tongue out at him.

"I do like the crunch..." he responds, plucking yet another food item from the table. It was a..... "Shulk, what is this?" Egil lowers the weird whatever-it-is to Shulk's nose, quirking a brow.

"That's a mushroom, Egil." Shulk says, not even blinking. 

"I see..." he pinches it between his nails, "it is indeed.... mushy." He didn't even bite it halfway before he tossed it back onto the table, "No." He grabbed a different thing as Shulk chuckled at him. This one was a 'chip', if he remembered right. And it was crunchy! Not bad, not bad, though he still spat it out onto a napkin when he was done chewing. 

"I'll never understand why you just spit things out like that," Shulk leans against the table now, arms crossed. 

"It's annoying," Egil brushes off the question pointing at a jar, "What's that?" 

Immediately, Shulk grins, "Peanut butter! It's my favorite!" The Homs grabs a spoon and quickly opens the lid, scooping up the spread and offering it to Egil. He gives it a curious sniff, and - against his better judgement - accepts the spoon.

Oh. Oh this was  _ awful _ . It was horribly sticky, there was nothing to be chewed at all, and Shulk had a mischievous little smile on his face that told Egil he'd fallen right into his trap. He scowls, trying to spit the damned stuff out into the napkin without much luck. As Shulk giggled, he flicked him square between the eyes, earning a startled yelp. He had half a mind to sweep the rest of the snacks off the table, but was not in the mood to have to clean that mess up. 

Shulk scurried away and returned with a glass of water, giving him a grossed out look when Egil, instead of just drinking it, used it to rinse out his mouth. "What?" Egil scowled, "That was entirely your fault. If I had an ounce less of self control I'd throw this in your face." He turned the glass towards him threateningly, before walking away to dump it in the sink. "If you ever give me anything like that ever again I'm going to strangle you."

"Noted," Shulk chuckles, "I'm guessing that's it for the texture tests then?"

"After that horrible experience, I don't think I want anything to do with food for the next few  _ weeks. _ " Egil huffs, crossing his arms.

"Aw, don't be like that," Shulk pats his side, reaching for his arm when the Machina turns his head away indignantly, "c'mere!" 

"What is it now?" He sighs, leaning down to meet Shulk's gaze and blinking in surprise as the blond kisses him. 

A moment later, he pulls away, "Sorry about the peanut butter, which, by the way, your mouth tastes like now." 

"You...!" Egil ruffles his hair and gives him a lighthearted shove to the side as he dashes off, "I'm stealing your toothbrush for that!" 

"No wait!" Shulk chases behind him, "You're just gonna ruin it again!" 

"Damn right I am!" Egil snickers, "I cannot think of a better revenge!" 

Well, at least Shulk had a spare one.


End file.
